I have a really hard time not pulling my weight. Example: I am a stay at home mom. My husband busts his ass at work to bring home money for us to spend on bills and food and zee child. What do i do? I take care of the house, yes... but i don't EARN for our family. At this point, until we can get insurance for Maz, i can't get a job even a one day a week part time job. If we earn any more money, she looses medicaid. This drives me batty.
I have this really great friend, and in may she is taking me to see Glee Live. I am SO excited about this!!! getting time to spend with my friend SANS husbands or kids and just us being girls. the bad part? i have no way to repay her other than cooking dinners. this makes me feel so UGH inside.
I got my first real job when i was 14. Newspaper delivery. every single day, rain or shine. it was hard, it gave me money to save for my first car, and i became addicted to working. i had a job from then til 2 years ago. Now i sit at home with my child. Yes, i clean the house, pay the bills, cook the meals, do the shopping... people say it IS work. being a stay at home mom is the hardest job. and it is. but without bringing home something to CONTRIBUTE, i feel like a failure.
I know i shouldn't, but i do... and it sucks.
Awesome friend wants to take me to a concert in two weeks. she says don't worry about anything, but i do. I really do. I wish i could fix that feeling. Friends do things like that for friends. and one day i WILL be able to repay her. Maybe a mom's only weekend or something. I'll think of something.
headache setting in... need coffee... damn you sweet, SWEET caffeine!