Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Tuesday. Random. Here I go!


it's Tuesday. And here i thought it was Monday til i heard banging at my door at 9:35 then shot up realizing it was Tuesday and Maz has speech therapy. Fail mommy. Major fail. Then again, kid fails cuz she was still asleep at 9:35! doesn't she realize SHE is my alarm clock??? what a way to start the day.

Random is the key word about the friggin weather here. by now it should be AT LEAST 80 degrees EVERY day. instead for memorial day weekend we got highs of 50 and hail in the city. SNOW IN THE FOOTHILLS. what... the...fuck. I hate you northern Nevada. I WANT MY SUMMER ALREADY!

my kid calls chalk cock. and i giggle every time. it kinda makes me happy. what can i say? I'm really 12 inside.

i really need to blog more. I'm going to be going on a trip with the maz in 9 days up to WA to see my dad. will be gone for a little over three weeks. ill have lots to share when not camping!! so hopefully ill remember to blog every once in a while. i really want too.

iced coffee is amazing. i don't quite understand how i am not such a big fan of hot coffee (unless I'm camping) but iced coffee is ALWAYS in my fridge. i think my coffee maker and fridge love me and put magic in my iced coffee while it's cooling. that must be it.

I hate teenagers. like, a lot. all the teens i seem to run into are brats and think that the world owes them everything. and it doesn't matter if they are from rich families or poor families. I really hope that my kid doesn't end up that way, i was a little asshole sometimes, but my dad made sure that i was ALWAYS respectful to adults and that i knew what i had was special. i was never one of those kids who EXPECTED things. if i got things it was earned in some way. I don't get it.

my husband can't cook worth shit. but MAN he knows his way around a BBQ. For some reason it gets me all excited (in the pants like). I'm weird.

saw glee live with my bestie a week ago. it was amazing. i felt 13 again! singing to all the songs, screaming at the top of my lungs "I LOVE YOU PUCKERMAN!" stalking the celeb tour buses and freaking out when i got high fived by a Warbler. it was awesome.

speaking of warblers, every time i hear this word it makes me think of someone with balls in their mouth singing around them. kinda like a hummer, but with words. this ALSO makes me giggle.

not much randomness this week. oh well! we can't all be in top form ALL the time!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

thats right! IT"S TUESDAY!


I have been neglecting you, my little blog friend. Life has been busy and good, but it's Tuesday and i come to spread my randomness!!!

This one is from my husband, and it's a good one too. Why does Boots the monkey in Dora wear boots? and why red? Dude runs around nekkid except for his red boots. i wish i could do that.

it really pisses me off when i see people at the grocery store at the first of the month (welfare, food stamps) ahead of you in line with a whole cart overloaded with food. they bust out that handy dandy little food stamp card and get everything paid for with my husbands taxes (and all you other hard working people too) and i see them in the parking lot loading those groceries into A HUGE ESCALADE WITH 5000.00 RIMS AND TIRES. if you need food stamp money so bad, SELL THAT FUCKING LUXURY SUV YOU TOOLBAG!!!

I have been eating lots of egg salad lately. Thanks to inspiration from my dear friend Mrs. J. I think hubby is irritated, cuz the house smells like rotten egg salad.... from my farts. HAHAHAHAHA

i don't watch dancing with the stars, and now that it is almost over i realize i should have watched this season. and i have it on hulu, so maybe ill watch the whole thing. KARATE KID AND KRISTIE ALLEY??? omg! how did i miss this???

yesterday little Maz was watching me neaten up the couch. i was bent over it, and i feel these two little hands start to bongo on my butt. she yells in her sweet pixie like voice :  "BUTT BUTT BUTT!!! PEEEEE YEW!!!!" and proceeds to giggle her little head off. I really do love being her mom :)

I keep trying to make fried rice, tried different recipes and methods. they all taste super! but my problem is, it stays sticky and never separates like in the restaurants. it's really pissing me off, I JUST WANT PERFECT FRIED RICE FOR MY LEFTOVERS DAMMIT!!

I'm pissed off at the stupid weather. it should be a steady 75+ degrees here everyday by now. it was for about 4 days, then we go back to highs of 45. 60 degrees if we are lucky. I WANT MY HEAT ALREADY! i live in the desert for a reason dammit!

I just kinda woke up while typing. I knew i was gonna blog a little, but i literally just realized the things i have been rambling about. that is funny as hell! tired blogging makes for crazy blogging!!!


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

RTT BABY! (shit i thought it was Monday)



i totally thought it was Monday. so these will really be random thoughts!

I love my kid more than anything, but days like today make me wanna give her away. it's a snack. i mean really? you have several choices. PICK ONE FOR CHRIST SAKE! but i do love her, and my life would be not at all cool or fun if she wasn't around.

Why does a recipe immediately get labeled as Asian if it includes ginger? saw one for "Asian spaghetti" normal sauce, but without garlic, with ginger. wtf people, that's not Asian. that's fucking crazy white people trying to be ethnic shit!

speaking of shit, i saw this hilarious video of an older black woman in her kitchen cooking, and PISSED OFF that someone in her house left a giant turd in the toilet. I don't think i have laughed that hard in a while. old black lady cooking greens and talking about giant turds? priceless

why can't birds sleep in? I mean, there is NOTHING to chirp about at fucking 4am for christ sake! CRAWL BACK IN YOUR NEST FOR ANOTHER TWO HOURS OF SHUT EYE! i will like you more and my kid will sleep longer.

holy fuck, im saying fuck a lot. Eh... fuck it.

Why do men seem to think it's OK to go ass to mouth? thank god my husband isn't one of them. seriously? you suck on a poopy peener and tell me how good it tastes. it's defiantly not like a fudgecicle.

why is it, when i look at my alarm clock and it's 6:30am it pisses me off. then i walk to my computer desk, and see the EXACT SAME TIME on my hello kitty clock... I'm OK with it and slightly happier? i need more hello kitty stuff. it's like... a pink antidepressant.

i randomly catch myself grabbing my right boob with my left hand. it's like hair twirling, but with cupping. i don't get it.

a "friend" of mine from back home left this stupid facebook post the other than (mothers day) that made me want to kill people. she said, and i QUOTE:  "Laying on the couch with my three girls. It feels so great to be a mom! happy mothers day to me! happy mothers day to all the mom's in my life!"  my problem? she's single, never had kids. she was talking about her FUCKING DOGS. guess what lady, you feed your critters twice a day and let them out to shit in the yard. THIS DOES NOT MAKE YOU A MOTHER. you are a pet owner. fuck off and stop making yourself something you aren't.

I often wonder if people are angrier than they seem? like those people you see, or are around that are always so chipper? i would love to be a fly on the wall of that person's home to see what they are REALLY like. I'm not a hider. i kinda wear my emotions on my sleeve. i love people who do the same, i can't deal with those who just hide behind a wall of smiles all the time. something has GOT to piss you off once in a while! share it! it will make you more interesting.

ahh Tuesday. how i love you :)

Chipper McChipperson is in the hizzouse!

days like these i actually hate myself a little for being in such a good mood. The sun is out, the birds are chirping, it's not yet 1000000 degrees in la casa... Little Maz is a happy camper. Life is good. 

I LOVE to cook. I actually was going to go to culinary school, but then i got knocked up. At that point i realized i didn't want to take the fun out of cooking for me. i want to learn to cook for my family and friends, not as a job. PLUS the hours a chef puts in are insane, and i wasn't about to let my new family be neglected like that. So i watched a SHIT TON of food network, read a craptastic amount of cooking websites, and tinkered with recipes. Apparently, i do pretty well. Cooking for other people makes me so happy. When there is NO food left over because everyone ate it all, my little heart sings. Cooking is bliss.

last night i tried a new recipe, which is hard for me to do because i hate failing. I'm a kitchen perfectionist. The first time i cook a new dish, i kinda get a little panicky because if it isn't good, not only did i FAIL, but i wasted all that food. ANYWAY, i made balsamic and onion chicken thighs. holy shit. it was like heaven in my mouth. and THAT is saying a lot!

reading back, I'm not exactly sure where i was going with this post. Meh... nothin like airing out the old brain now and then!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Friday Fun Day!

Wow that title is sure chipper. and i don't really feel it yet, but I'm going for the power of positivity! (yeah yeah, that made me throw up a little too... I'm so not positive yet!)

was woken up at 7:30 by a cold ass water bottle being pressed into my warm as hell back. yeah, morning to you too, little maz. thanks for the lack of sleep. i appreciate it SO FRIGGIN MUCH.

I'm tired, and a little grumpy right now. so sue me. the coffee has yet to set in. bite my ass, world!

Last night, i stepped out of my comfort zone a little, and decided to participate in Nerd Night with Mr. Slim and Tall and his homeys. Yes, i said homeys. They play this game called Shadowrun. it's like Dungeons and Dragons but all futuristic and matrix like. you plug into machines and shit. it's actually pretty cool. I made a character, spent my points on spells and gear, and "role played" her. She is an elf shaman named Twyla Sanchez. she's also a junkie whore. and she's awesome.

before the drugged out whoring could begin, we had people over for dinner. BBQ chicken, potato salad and veggies. it was awesome. the more i am around our partner family in crime, the more i love them. T man, little C and MR. and Mrs. J are awesome. Love them to pieces, and am SO SO SO glad we met them.

off to see the nutritionist at WIC, apparently if your kid isn't a little fat ass, they think you starve them. Sorry bitch lady from hell who has NO kids of her own, my kid is very active and eats like a pig. HAVE YOU SEEN HER FATHER? Oh wait, you FUCKING HAVE. back off bitch, i don't starve my kid. (can you tell i hate this lady?) Afterwards, it's nap time, followed by a lunch at the park, then a little nightgown shopping for the Maz and a quick run to the grocery store. Followed by dinner and fun with my family. I love them.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

busy day, fun filled night!

Holy crap. i have followers! HI FOLLOWERS!!!! *wave*

So yesterday, Mr. Sexyman and i, (apparently his title changes depending on how happy i am or something, work with me here people!) invited people over to the house for dinner before asking each other. Which is totally fine, the more the merrier in my opinion! that being said, we are having 7 POSSIBLY 8 people over for BBQ chicken tonight, in our tiny ass apartment. the Maz and her partner in crime, little C, have been having so much fun together, that they should ALONE be good entertainment. That being said, i have a SHITLOAD of potato salad to make. Which also means i have to go to the store ASAP cuz i need eggs. Mrs J inspired me to make a bucket of egg salad the other day and i kinda forgot that i needed eggs til about 30 min ago.

After the BBQ, Mr Sexyman is having Nerd Night. This is when our geeky boy buddies come over and they play some sort of nerdy game. D&D, Shadowrun, nerdy boardgames, whatever they decide to do. In the past, I have just sat in front of my computer and played whatever MMO i am currently sucked into. Lately it's been Rift (which is amazing, and i love it) but we have decided as a couple (thanks to the amazing advice and help of Mrs. J) that we need to work on US. Part of which is me meeting Mr. Sexyman's needs and doing things with him. So, I'm stepping out of my comfort zone, and going to be sitting around the coffee table and role playing with my man and our geeky friends. I'm a little nervous, i don't exactly roll play well. BUT i also don't want to be 50 years old, and look over at my husband and realize i don't know him and have very little in common with him. So i am going to try. that's all i can do, right?

oh shit, i just realized that today is Cinco de Mayo. Which honestly means nothing in Mexico. it's NOT their Independence day, it's actually the day they beat the French's ass in the battle for Puebla. and they dont' celebrate in Mexico. SO, I'm thinking just a shit ton of Texans wanted another reason to party, kill a huge cow and eat it. That's enough reason for me! Mmmmm beef....

I just asked the Maz if she wanted to go to the store to get eggs. She said: "Egg? Ya! Sure! Great!" and jumped up from the table and slid into her little crocs. Man i love her cute little butt, she's so funny!

tonight is gonna be fun, can't WAIT!


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Jumpin on the bandwagon. RTT starting... NOW!


I am a hair twister. i love the way it feels super soft on my fingers. when it's long enough, i usually run it across my upper lip, right below my nose.

Why do Christians feel the need to wear their badge of jesushood on their cars, or shirts, or key chains... are they reminding themselves that they are Christians or trying to remind the big man in the clouds?

Im super bummed that the tongue brush that i really wanna get for the hubby and I isn't where it's supposed to be sold. Online, or at winco. checked both Winco's, no tongue brush. i don't wanna pay shipping and handling fees!

sometimes, when im drinking diet drinks, and i breathe out through my nose after taking a drink... the after taste is like nasty crotch smell. i don't understand why, so i try and always breathe out through my mouth AFTER swallowing diet juice. Soda never does this. i don't get it.

I don't understand why Sid the sloth, from the movie Ice Age, has a lisp. are they trying to say that slow people have lisps? that sloths have speech impediments? that people with lisps are sloths? Are lisps supposed to be funny? My friend Chris has a pretty bad lisp. I remember once in high school, we were doing some stupid project involving cutting out pictures of countries from maps, Chris asked a simple question that busted up the whole class, and those who remember still laugh about it to this day... the question was this: Mr. Soderquist? Can you please pass me some scissors? now say it with a lisp. Now have yourself a good laugh.

small set of thoughts, a good start though. Yay Tuesdays!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Wild and crazy!

the last two days have been OH so good! dinner TWO nights in a row with the Jared's and their kiddo's. it's amazing to see two little girls play together, they are both just so cute! it's neat, because they are both so different, C is very lovey and can get so emotional (and it's about the CUTEST THING EVER) and she loves to snuggle me, which i miss out on with little maz. Maz isn't a snuggler (except she loves to be with Mrs.J, which actually warms my heart, thought for sure i'd be jealous, but im not. it makes me feel good that maz loves her like that) the two of them get into trouble together. C is the muscle and the fun behind it and Maz is the sneaky planner.  little turd fell and busted her tooth into her lip, AGAIN.

i actually watched a UFC fight, and had a blast. all those buff mens in tight shorts (ok, i only like the ones in tight shorts, most of em wear baggy stuff, and honestly most are so beat up that i would need a bag for their heads anyway) eating good food with good friends and just generally having a blast with people. Im making a promise to myself right now, to spend more time with Mrs. J. I adore her, her family, and being around her makes me feel GOOD. i need more of that in my life. We click so well, we laugh at the same stuff, we are going through the same issues, it's just... nice. plus her husband seems to be able to put up with my shit, and i love her kids oh so much.

tonight possibly going to dinner with hubby's dad... i can't stand the man at all, but im trying very hard for him and the little one. hopefully the night ends well, and not in a shit storm of anger like i usually have.

think positive, and BE positive right? We will see...